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Odious Cinemas get it (sort of)
September 24th, 2004
I think I might be in danger of over-reacting to Odious Cinemas - after all, it’s not like I actually use them or anything - but what a tightwad, pursed-lip, arrogant bunch of pricks they seem to be. Once upon a time there was someone who spent his own time and effort - probably worth in the low six figures if you were going to buy that kind of consultancy off the open market - to make their site work, and instead of realising that he was doing them a favour, Odious laywergrammed him.
So then they get deluged with nastygrams from pissed-off geeks the world over, and how did they respond? Three months or so of complete silence. Finally, instead of realising that they could have retrieved some of their lost whuffie by being nice to Matthew Somerville, they slap a splash screen and a glorified text file on the front of the site, and pretend that this is somehow a big deal:
This page has information on accessibility matters. It will be updated with news if and when [my emphasis] there are any developments…
Note that it doesn’t say “we realise our website blows chunks and we’re doing something about it”. It’s saying “we don’t really give a shit what our customers think, but here’s a bone we’re going to throw to you little people over there”.
And then they go on to say:
We support the principles of the ‘Disability Discrimination Act’ (1995) and are committed to recognising and responding to the needs of all disabled people.
Call me cynical, but that looks like a lawyer’s idea of buying time just in case any of their pissed-off ex-customers decide that it would be fun to make an example of them by bringing a DDA case. Call me even more cynical if I point out that the change appears to have been sychronised with a less-than-complimentary article by Jack Malvern in The Times.
And then - and this is the funniest part of all - rather than spend a bit of time and money making the site accessible (after all, they’d get a cheap deal from Matthew Somerville) they go and pay a real live person to sit on the end of a freephone number to answer booking queries. Gosh, how positively 21st-century. Guess I should forget about ever getting an RSS feed from them, then.
I have to keep telling myself (aside from “calm down, you’re over-reacting”) that these people are the distribution arm of the clueless jerks at the MPAA, so why should they know (or even want to know) anything about online standards and how to keep their customers happy? After all, if we don’t play ball with them, they’ll just sue us, right?
Filed under Geek, Them |One Response to “Odious Cinemas get it (sort of)”
I write here to inform you of the really quite shocking actions being
perpetuated by the UK cinema chain Odeon against a disabled Scottish
boy Matthew Somerville.
9 year old Matthew suffers from the rare, medically unknown condition
of “Shatner’s Palsy” which attacks unoxygenated body tissue. Doctors are
working hard on a cure, but admit the possibility of a fatal remission
within 70 years. Despite this, Matthew continues to brighten the lives
of everyone he meets.
Incredibly, despite having weak arms, he is still able to operate a
computer using a specially constructed input device, consisting of a
covered spherical ball and a pair of single-pole-single-throw latches.
Resting his disabled hand on the tool, any small movements are converted
to gigabyte digital input signals.
The disabled boy constructed a special film portal for the disabled.
It was very popular, receiving over 100 “hits” a month. Webmaster
experts based at Durham University examined his JavaScript code and
proclaimed it “fully polymorphic and 100% XML ready”
Despite this, Odeon cinemas have ordered him to “cease and desist”
using the recently enacted European Millennium Copyright Act (EMCA) to
copyright the notion of “film discussion” by a person and/or persons
“without full limb mobility”. They have demanded his website is put in
the Windows XP recycle bin, and insisted “It shall then be emptied”.
Unsurprisingly, the move has been supported by the Internet Knowledge
Enforcement Agency (IKEA).
This cannot be allowed to happen. The disabled should have almost as
many rights as normal people, at least with regard to discussing films.
Luckily for us, people power works, and that’s where you come in.
How can you help disabled boy Matthew Somerville?
a) Email Odeon customer support (info@odeonuk.com) and tell them you are
boycotting their chain (Rocky 6 excepted) while they continue
their legal actions against disabled boys.
b) Email Odeon UK chairman Luke Vetere (lvetere@odeonuk.com) and insist
that the website be retrieved from the recycle bin, cleaned, and
uploaded back onto the UK internet web system using FTP packet protocols.
c) Email and post this message to everybody you know (several times), and
on every “blog” site you can find.
d) You can help Matthew in his separate quest to enter the “Guinness Book
of Records” with the record of “largest collection of cinema ticket
stubs”. Matthew is aiming for over a thousand. Send them, perhaps with
a letter of encouragement to
Matthew Somerville
Guinness Record Attempt
109 Eastern Drive
Edinburgh
EH7 1DA
Remember, only by working together can we can beat an evil law, and
brighten the failing heart of a young disabled angel.